I knew the moment she came into my life it would never be the same. There is nothing like getting on a thousand pound animal to teach you who you are. She challenges me and I love her for it. They are amazing, soulful creatures. If you give them your heart, your trust and your willingness they will teach you as much as you teach them. I dream of the day I can set up my own horse rescue and give a good life to some of these amazing souls. They take so much more than what so many can offer now days. It is not fair to them.
Meet Summer VonHesse. She’s a wife, mom of 2 and, like many women struggled with her body image after having kids, she has shared her journey to self-love and acceptance on her Instagram account. She has been sharing pics on IG since November with the goal of empowering women to start looking past their ‘flaws’ and celebrate their beauty.
She told Global News: “We can’t live up to a false reality. We’re never going to look like those Photoshopped plus-size models and we should honour who we are.”
You might be thinking this is a strange blog for a dude to be writing, but that is exactly why I felt I had to write this. This has been on my mind for awhile, and I guess I just haven’t had the words… but here it is.
I am a husband to the most beautiful woman in the world and it pains me every time my wife looks in the mirror and sees only flaws staring back at her. I often say to her: “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes”, and she smiles and says ‘thank you’ but I feel my words (though absolutely sincere) come through sounding hollow.
Even though I work in the media, sometimes I get so angry when I see the images and and the stereotypes portrayed of what ‘beauty’ should be and how the media defines ‘sexy’. Because let me tell you, I believe that for most guys the portrayals of what is ‘sexy’ is NOT the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. You know what is sexy? The woman that wears that tattered old nightshirt to bed every night… The woman in the kitchen in yoga pants with her hair tied back… The woman who takes the time to make you lunch before you go to work… and the woman who tucks your children in every night.
Ladies, I am going to let you in on a little secret. If you want to know who MOST of us guys think is really beautiful and sexy… look in the mirror. Look closely… see those things that you think are flaws? Guess what? The fact is… we don’t see ’em. No. We really don’t. Those ‘muffin tops’ you hate? We love to put our hands on them and pull you close. Your stretch marks? You got them bringing our children into the world… We honour them and love you for them. The truth is ladies, what MOST of guys think is really sexy is not the woman on TV or in the magazine rack.
What is really ‘hot’? It’s you. Yes, you. The woman that married us despite the fact that we probably drink too many beers, don’t bring flowers home as often as we should, and usually say the wrong thing at the wrong time. The woman we wake up next to every morning… the woman that promised to spend her life with us. For the vast majority of guys (ya, I know… there are d-bags that give us all a bad name) YOU are the most beautiful woman in the world.
Which brings us back to where we started. Summer VonHesse’s IG journey.
As she says: “I get countless messages from married men asking me how they can help their wives feel better because they hate their bodies. And that’s touching to me because my husband and I struggled through that for many years where I didn’t want him to see me naked… It’s important to me to put this out there because it’s something a lot of people can relate to.”
Something I have that a lot of women identify with is a flabby stretched out loose skin belly. It's from going up and down in weight and from babies. There is a genetic component to it that makes it impossible to get rid of with some. You can do all the crunches in the world. Short of having surgery it's there to stay. The biggest part of my journey to self love was that fucking flabby stretched marked pouch thing I have. I felt like even a lot of bigger plus size women didn't have that. Their skin looked tighter to me. It's not something I see portrayed ever, in a beautiful natural way. Yet soooooo many women have it. The fucking pouch. Lol. I have come to terms with my pouch. With the fact that I can still FEEL and LOOK fucking bomb in shit like thisyou can too xoxox ....my husband took this pic...no ps...just awesome lighting and wind!